Monday, December 3, 2007

curiosity kills.

Hw does it feels like to have like__ guys having crush on u? like u.or marb love u. or even hu goes crazy over u?

it feels good dosent it.

it makes u feel like ur sumbody!

i like dat feeling.

but dat was wat i USED to feel.

i feel good wen sumbody goes crazy over me.

but now?

i dun feel the sparks animore.

i dun feel good wen sumbody likes me.

often question maself.

why why and why?

why wld dey wana get to noe me?

why are dey so crazy over me?

like seriously. im nt ttryin to be humble or wat.

but im dead seriously.

like wats in me? im notink.

i dun have the loooks. i dun have a great hot sexy body neither.
i dun have the personality or attitude dat simply amaze or impress plp.

if i dun feel good bout maself or see maelf in any way dats likable. den why wld dey?

so the question is. wat do dey wan frm me?

simply jus wana play me out? grr..

k dats one tink dat i oways tot bout.
another tink is dat.

wat if that guy reli likes me for hu i am? crazy over me.

and den wat if the feeling's nt mutual?

wldnt dat hurt the other party as well?

i mean ive tried my veri best. waes and means nt to hurt these plp.

but sumhw or rather. i did.

and it hurts me too. hurting plp.

sumtymes i even feel dat im btrayin dem.

dun ask me y. i duno.

sumtimes tinks jus cnt turn out the wae we wan it to be.

u noe having many guy to like u is hard sumtymes.

its hard to acualy handle their feelings.

its hard to sae NO in a nice wae.

theres guys hu is simply nice. whom i wish i cld have dem as my companion.

but im just nt ready. im just nt ready to take the risk again.

so isit wrong nt to be ready..?

plp oways sae.

"wen theres the great ones jus infrnt of u. u jus tend to close ur eys and look afar. and there goes the rare ones. "

soo..??

ouhh im getting all crappy here.

ignore me. jus xpessin. haah.

kk. at dis point of time.

all i wan is to have FUN.

im 19. yes. all i wan is to have FUN.

and hell yeah im having the time of my life.

but of cos on th journey of FUN. often i go down and look bck on ma past.

and i noe dats wae wrong. and hell i dun wana tink about my past. or even hIM.

not even a single bit. yes wats past is past.

ok. im seriously just goin random here ok. and im nt tinking wat im writing and im jus writing. so pardon me. haha.

many times. plp being attached and at the same time dey're playing bhind each others bck.

so like wats the point of havin a rship dis wae??

wats the point being in a rship wen ur nt at all hapie? yes u love dat person sooo much but wats the point again if ur nt even hapie??! its jus a waste of time wen all u cn do is jus get out of that shell and hve the time of ur life.

dats y gals.

i feel dat. we shldt let guys take advantage of us.

we shld find guys hu nid us. not the other wae wrong.

we shld find guys hu tinks wasting their time on us is worth it.

we shld find guys hu love us more den we do.

ok. im in no position to sae all dis.

but wt the fuck.

dis is random.

toddles.

what we could have been, 3:23 AM.