Wednesday, April 25, 2007

SMILEsetmeUP___.

for joy love and happiness

im created

so there i'll be only for joy love and happiness

*no more

what we could have been, 11:26 PM.

imSOexhauSTEDcan?

here i am_jus randomly blogging.
yesterdae was on nite shift.
off at 730am.
hum.swit.hum @ 830am

just wash ma face.
apply OXY10 on pimplish face. OMG.
break-outz!!

zzz..

and.. and..

i had breakfast at 11am.
woke up at 2pm.
den..
head to kallang stadium..for ma BEEP test.
and and.i oni reach level 8.6 can??!!
argghh..
and coach expectants was 9 kay.

so dissapointing.
WTH. i was tired k.

nvm. i'll tink positif and achieve beta 3mths later b4 sea games.

and here i am.. again on nite shift

with a smile? and empty stomach. and shag face.
wishin i cld jus head home and have a gd nite slip.
or maeb.. any vacancy bed here? so i cld jus hav a short nap?

tada...

what we could have been, 10:57 AM.

Monday, April 23, 2007

.bLANk.

its either we choose to give up. or we go thru' dis 2gether.

i dun nid sympATHy. n i dn wan dis to be a one-sided tingy.
we've wasted soo much tears and energy.
why give up wen we've build dis oredi?
its like u've build a castle. and den u jus wan to crash it all down bcos it dosen look all nice.
y nt u renovate it?

dis few daes i've been feeling lost.
i jus cldnt imagine ma life w/o u.

i hate to give up.
i have been giving up for the past rship.
and im sick and tired of givin up can..
till wen will dis go on.

but idun wana dis to be me only.
only me hu wans dis badly.. n nt euu.

euu loook all tough in the inside.
but yt so weak in the innside. wHY?

seriously. im very lazy to blog nw.
i'll start bloogin' ''properly''.. wen im bck to ma normal self aik.

what we could have been, 8:13 PM.

Saturday, April 21, 2007

im left broken__

lost ma pride.
and ma heart..

what we could have been, 8:35 PM.

Friday, April 20, 2007

dun read my blog if u dun fcuking like wat im posting.
go awae kay.
and dun give me stoopid comments!

dammit.

what we could have been, 10:17 AM.

tinks hv been bad lately.
oh-so-bad.

why isit so hard for euu to apologies?

put ur E.G.O aside.

change..
and i promise u.. i'll change.

u've hurt me time and time again..
why baby? why?..

ohmygod. im so fcuk up ryte nw.
if oni i cld un awae frm all dis.. i wld.

shld i stay..
or shld i go?..

where were euu wen i nided euu most?
where were euu wen i nided sum1?

i've been hurt too much.
my hearts crying.
tears rolling..
i risk myself into all dis hoping dat ur diff frm all fcukin guys out der.
but hell no!.

ur just alike.

im just so speechless..
y are u makin me feel soo miserable.

i H.A.T.E. euu.

what we could have been, 9:54 AM.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

.Am I Follishly Dumb__

...leaving you wasnt and option baby never

dun euu throw in the towel

wherever euu wana take me i'll go.

i've been with euu for too long to start over with another.

the answer is clear.We've search for too long

and i hope we wld not let dis disapear..

i've build ma world around euu..

what we could have been, 7:45 AM.

Monday, April 16, 2007

.tEARs OF sOrrOw___

.....

kau ingt aku suka pe waste my precious tears for ur own misdeed.
u hated it wen i argued wif u for ur own misdeed.
u nv want to admit defeat!
so.untuk kau.aku convert ma fcuking anger to tears.
i held on ma anger jus to avoid the qaureling.
wen it was all ur fault. ur fcuking fault.

u didint even apologies for wat euu did.

u console me wen i teared.
u wipe awae ma tears with ur bare hands
u gave me a shoulder to cry on
and embrace me tite jus to cool me down.
and wen u fail to do so.. u nv gave up..

but dat was all the past..

nw?..
wen i teared..
"skit-skit nak nagis"
tu je kau ckp. =_(
u noe hw hurt it is..
and u shouted at me infront of plp
and jus leave me there crying alone.
and few minutes ltr.. u cum bck to me..
pleasing me to hush-hush.. trying to console me.
n wen u fail to do so.. for not even for a fcuking 10sec..
u shouted at me again.
u didint wipe ma tears notink.
u leave me crying there all alone..
u gave up on me..

why...
sob-sob.

what we could have been, 10:45 PM.

.iT has owaYS beEN me___

hu looks forward to miting euu everydae.

hu wishes dat the dae dosent end so soon.

hu sae no to TIRED and yes to miting euu.

hu teared jus to cover up ma anger.

hu have to wait for ur kol like everytime.

hu is never late.

hu dun mind wat time or dae it is as long as we're together.

hu hv tolerated ur fcuking temper.

it has oways been me hu cares bout little tinks.

it has oni been me ME and mE now..

where are euu?

where is sensitive and oh-so-concern like ''everytime'' guy use to be?

where is the guy hu use to make me have butterfiles in ma stomach?

where is the guy hu use to make me go guuguu gagaa?

where is the guy who use to be so patient with me?

where s the guy hu nv throw his tantrums on me?

where is the guy hu use to console and make me smile wen im down?

where is the guy hu nv gives up on me?

where has that gentlemen gone...

u've changed.

ouh so many-many.

im so confused as to wat i shld be feeling now..

come bck to me babyBOI..

what we could have been, 9:22 AM.

met up with PASRAHs.

and i had a blast =p

wee~

what we could have been, 1:16 AM.

Sunday, April 15, 2007

HE is jus everygals dream gUy..
oways make me feel so sucure around him.
sets me up wen im down on blues.
nv fail to care for what i tink.
drives me insane with his stoopid acts
oways there jus as wen i nided sumbody..
full of kind words jus to make me feel like im the only one..
gives me attention wen i ignore him.
follows me wen i run awae frm him.
saes he loves me wen i scream at him.
and best of all.. calls me beautifOOL wen im at ma worst.

HAAH..
dis are just sweet lies..
just to ease ma burning heart.

PIGS might fly if HE is of the above...

what we could have been, 4:45 AM.

lovin'IT..

cont..

with me maself and i
nyahaha..
i still go ahead with ma swiming cum tanning.

AWEsome-Ness. to spend tyme with urself and sum self-thoughts..
about hour ltr..
walk around IMM and bought maself 3/4 G.A.P pants.

.hm sweet hm.

what we could have been, 2:32 AM.

Saturday, April 14, 2007

hur.hur.
wana go swim-swim.
but none to acompany.

no boifie
no fwens
A.L.O.N.E

sad-sad.

haix..
boring =(

wat cn I do alone?..
anyone wana go swim2 ...

what we could have been, 8:39 PM.

Friday, April 13, 2007

.SERVICE.boI.

heeh. everybody.
see dis!

AMBROSE TAN!!
haha..

i miss u men.

12pm he cum ouside ma hse ryte after his book out.
pass him sum guaze and normal saline.
he has infection on his leg i guess..
poor him

heeh..
AMBROSE tan botak liao.
1st tyme see euu in uniform..

and he use to be the olmos same colour skin s me..

and now.. hah! soo black.. =p

i reli misss him..
he use to acompany go swming la.. jogging la.. study.. play his DANCE2 revolution la..
ouh i tell u.. he is one pervert and irritating fwen. =)

but lovable. heeh. =p
cute kan dia..

what we could have been, 10:40 PM.

.DropITdoWN.

met up with noi and yanti last wednesdae.
and club-hoping was a blast. wee~
frm MOS.to ATTICA. cheekiES. doubleO and theCLINIC.

i tot it was gona be plain normal boring party-ing with jus the 3 of us after hana and e-wan and co. BUAY us. hmph.. geram ajerr..

yanti me and kak noi.

but i was wrong. it was way fun-ness.

cam-whore at MOS toilet..

aku ingt drg tk akan dress up.. skali smua dress up kakak2. tkble angz. hee..

heeh! kak noi makeup lembab sgt..

kak noi was still with her make up! arrgh..

jeng jeng jeng! ni konon nye step mummy kiter org la eh for the dae.

pastu kan. we head to attica and took picas otw. tee hee..

dats sexy yanti.. wee~

dis is the vougue mumi.

and the kiddily me todae. heeh..

and den too---> clinic bar. tempat aku. kate nurse. hah...

clinic bar toilette. it was complicated and aku termasok kat male toilet. aha..

ni kes tkde keje kan. haha.

wanna cum in..

kecian kak noi tunggu bwah sorang2..

pastu terserempak nan naqATOT. alip's HOT bitch. =p

but the fun-ness turn out to be FCUKING dae KAY!!
every 5mins! my hp vibrate! damn siak..
and guess who was it???

it was ma parents. arghh..
suro alek cepat2..

tros msg hana la suro tlg.
den she sae.. "da tolong la.."
and parent quarel bcos of me! arghh..

and so.. sadly..
i broke the record by reaching hm by 230!

and wen i reach home. smua tdor!!

arghh..

but niwae.. we shall do it again ryte sisters??.. =p

... sorie if i have to reach hm early. and thank u fur taking care of me. tee hee..

what we could have been, 9:57 PM.

Thursday, April 12, 2007

.nITEsHIFT.

MY 1ST Tyme on nite shift.

tee hee. dats wee2. ma colugue.=p so cute..

so boring.
impressive-ly..i wasnt at all sleepy.
but i feel so errie..~
duno y.. i had dis phobia of Nite. haha. esp the dark.

so bored leh. hais.
nasib baek ada dis pathetic comp to browse thru..
i went to websites like topshop la (their tops are ouh-so -furking tempting).. forever21 la.. zara la..mango la.. (their pants is ouh gorgeOus) and so on so fort..
argghh..
and i so gatal. i tot of goin shoping on sat. my off dae.
arghh.. but no money lehz.. haix

sad2..
i nid money!!!
to shop .. =(

what we could have been, 1:36 PM.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

miss dem. arent dey cute.damn!

what we could have been, 7:26 AM.

B.O.R.I.N.G larhh

so notink to do lehz...

jeng-jeng-jeng..

suddenly stumble upon me.

jannah! u 4get dis. i slap ur idong ah.

bcos of euu..

haha.

smack down euu.. =p

nvm.

sae sorrie!

jan: sorrie cindy

cindy: go to hell!

tee hee..

all dis. is fun-ness.

acually.. hell with dat bitch. haha

what we could have been, 7:19 AM.

after oh-so-long-time with the missing couzies. we met up.

just chill around and dey cum by my hse after werk..

and we're planing fur parties tomorrrow! wee~

miss dem' lots..

yey! cnt wait. cnt wait.

what we could have been, 5:29 AM.

Sunday, April 8, 2007

e.S.t.A.c.Y

i didint teared cos ur leaving.

but bcos u hugged me and whisper into ma ears ''i love you''..

tymes have been bad for us.

you didint noe y.. but i have alot tot it has been ur uncontrollable temper all along.

sumtymes i just cld't take it.

n so i blurt out wat i din meant and shld sae and so i apologise noe-ing u wld forgive me.

"love is forgiving.."

pls hold onto me wen i sae leave me..

ur the reason why my life worth a thousand skies..

i love euu baby..

what we could have been, 7:42 AM.

Friday, April 6, 2007

P.A.T.H.E.T.I.C

soo jus too relax ma mind. i went for a short jog around ma neighbourhood.

and im kepts me tinking..

WHEN THE HELL M I GONA LOSE SUM FUCKING WEIGHT.

argh..
acualy nt weight la.
i lost 2 pathetic KG.
but i still look fat!
why like dat.
it has oways been ma goal to look good.
haix.
just have tp accept the fate!
hmm..
i tink i gila oredi la.

what we could have been, 3:59 AM.

boring labour dae..
haix.

wat a dae to sit at home with none to go out with?!

he's wrking.
the worldWAR is activated btwin me and him nwades.
due unconrolled temper of his!

why isit so hard to control ur temper huh.
he is treating me like his scapegoat. where he vents his anger on me.. =((
isit so hard to admit our own shortcmings.
we shld resolve our own problems painstakingly..

yes i learn dis frm sum book.

i tried to calm maself down wen he is angry. wen he shouts and me and saes dat im a burden to him. which BF ever kols his GF dat? haix.

is he still confused over dis r'ship?

i love him. i hate him?
which of dis is true?

soo pasrah se. but NO! Im nv gona let him affect me!

maeb we just nid a break la..
dats y i haven tok to him like the whole dae.

haix.

what we could have been, 3:38 AM.

i was browsing ma friendster. link after link..

and found dis picture frm his climbing fwenster sumtink like dat. hehe..

u see dat guy squating? ya dat botak guy.. haha. yes dats him wen he shave his hair! haha.

cute kan.. pls dun shave ur hair again k baby. u look like one boy hu is diagnosed with cancer. hehe.

sape2 yg npk pic ni kan.. pls. pls. dun tell him can?

he is so gonna kill me if he saw noe bout dis. hehe

tk baik se aku.

sorie baby. syg euu. skit je..

what we could have been, 12:09 AM.

Thursday, April 5, 2007

wen i woke up dis mawning..

i went to ma refrigerator, duno for wat. haha.

and hw shock can i be wen i saw dis. =p

ready?...

mak. yang kali tarok la dlm suratkabar ke.. haiyo. anjat anis..

tros g mandi..got sum stoopid cultural ethic course at IMH.
sweet love early mawning nv sleep came down and fetch me. yawns..

waiing for me ...

i tel u.. the course was fcuking cibet boring k. its like sum religious course we're attending. we have i tink 5 speakers attending to xplain us sum shit history and stuff like dat on the culture and ethics. ada taoism la.. buddism la.. singh la.. catholic la.. muslim and christianity is the best. part muslin je.. wah smua terbangon! left a big impact on me and ma fwen haha.. dgr ustaz bual je.. tros nangis. alala.. takut kan. takut kan. g sembayang! haha..

yana jan cin yama

crapYness

ni muke aku nga mara.. npk tk. npk tak?

ni GURU ... yang half wae bual.. BURP loudly and din sae xcuse me. RUDE.

hah.. ni la uztaz AZMI yg act kat ''bangkai bernyawa''

CHINESE LADY: why malay men can have 4 wifes?

USTAZ: thats a veri good question.. 1st i ask all of u. do u tink one wife is enuf for us?

NOISY AUDIENCE: yes... nooo.. yess.. noo.. duno.

USTAZ: klah.. frankly speaking.. i as a men point of me. to me.. or me.. for men. one wife is never enuf!

eee.. geram nye.. ustaz gatal!

jannah was like shouting to him:

POTONG KONEK MASAK CURRY ARU TAU!

HAHA..

muke jan jadi gini after ustas sae dat. jgn ckp dier. aku pon bingit. ni tkble jadi!

though it was boring la. but i learn sumtink.

like the paper sae.. "PAIN AND SUFFEING ARE FO THE BODY AND MIND."

AND according to BUDDISM.<>

YAMA mean.. the lord of death.

so yama.. u have een wondering wat ur name means ryte? so.. u noe the meaning to ur name nw? .. haha.. so after a long day
we headed to town to mit up with hani and zakiah.

pics nye hani lom send. so... sabar je la..

hani rebond her hair. and it looks so cute on her.

and... she's gettting engage!

congrats2.. =p listening to her story.

it looks like we are more anxious den she is.. haha.

and its nt easy leh..jgn luper jemput ye cik kak.

what we could have been, 10:50 PM.

what we could have been, 10:34 PM.

Wednesday, April 4, 2007

8daes straight of wrking ma ass off and alas 2daes off. pathetic but appreciated! so fcuking exhausted! damn.. esp wen i deal with diicult patients! y cant dey ustand dat we are fcuking tired! argh! ... sontoloyo tol lah.

really have learnt to divert ma anger to patience..

calmness is nt weakness!

it is not too hard to calm down wen tinks are favourable, but indeed its hard to compose wen tinks go wrong. YES! its diicult.. but its helps us build our character.. =p reli. try it.

todae.WorldWar3 With gong=gong!

cibet btot.

tk ke geram. kiter sebagai pompan nie! kasi lepak skali skale ok la. makin org diam makin naek atas kepala lak!geram aje! skali skale understand-stood la.. nie e'dae se. malam2 buta plak tu. mcm org giler kan?. aiya. =( dia ckp aku tk faham dier. fuck la de.. kau sendiri tk faham aku. hmph!

MOHAMAD IRSHAM IS ORG GILER SESAT

KAT UTAN NAK KENE SEPAK KAT IDONG ARGH! citot!

sabar aje.

wat causes us to burst into tears will soon be forgotton!

acualy wen u tink again eh..

we may fly into rage at a spur of moment over sumtink and later wonder wat isit dat we were so angry about and later be suprised to realised wat a waste of tyme and energy it had all been.!

watever our troubles are..TIME will heal the wound.

WHY should we allow fuckers or our troubles to drain awae our energy and make us unhappy!?

the answer is we dun!

it is we hu make ourselves unhappy!

=pppp

faham tak cindyyyyyyyyyyy!!
hidop mau bersabar!

what we could have been, 8:51 AM.

Sunday, April 1, 2007

iSLAnd.PAraDIse

it was a great whirlwind fun gathering.
awesome-NESS!
LOVIN' the OAC-ians..

=pp

but too bad.. bf wasnt there to njoi the FUN-ness!
lovin the
volleyball match

the new fwens..=p

the food? haha erm.. was there like any?

and.. so on so forth..

mcm biskot btol. biler part kiter da mandi smua. da siap den smua plan wana go cafe del ma. at last. due to some mis-communications on the stoopid tram.haiya.. at last tk jadi plak! geram aje la aku!smua org ckp hapening. aiya.. wen will i go. damn!

geram ajer..

niwae.it was fun la though meet up with u plp after so long.

must do this again aik plp.

=p tc.

what we could have been, 5:08 AM.