Friday, July 31, 2009

everytink is just happening too fast too furios. :?

everytink seems to pilling up so high.

soo stressfull that i doubt anyone reli understand wat im goin thru at this point of my life.

as much as i wish i could just leave everytink bhind. i couldnt.

i just could not afford to give up. :(

how i wish i could just close my eyes and wake up in the morning and realise that all this was just a dream.

ohboy. how dumb can i get. :(

i wish u could be here with me and hear me cry.

i wish u could hug me and tell me everytink is gonna be ok.

i wish u could lend me me ur shoulder so my head would feels so much lighter.

i wish u could hold my hands and walk with me..

i wish u could read my mind so i nid nt tell u wat i feel.

cos more often den not.. its just misunderstood.

i cant do it anymore.

i cant smile and laugh and act as though im fine.

i cant put on a brave front anymore and be who im not.

im not. im not fine. at all.

im breaking inside and im falling apart. :_(

and it just gets tougher by the day..

what we could have been, 9:32 AM.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

doctor needs everybody to be there today.

and im so afraid of wat the news would be.

*praying hard* =(

what we could have been, 9:33 PM.

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Heartfelt condolences for Rickie.
may u rest in peace.
God loves u more then us..
u will always be remembered. :(
.
.
im just soo worn out. haven been sleeping well lately.
so many mishaps falling on us lately.
why isnt life goin just the way it should be? :_(
*sigh*
.
.
projectprojectproject are simply piece of shit! ARGGHH!!!
.
.
wen will all this gonna end? :_(
.
dadddddyyy, pleasee wake up!
i miss euuu. :_(

what we could have been, 9:38 AM.

Friday, July 24, 2009

ive already did my very best.

but why does it always seem like it was never enuf
nor appreciated. *sigh*

i cld just breakdown any moment.
:(:(:(:(:(:(:(

what we could have been, 2:12 AM.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

ive been skipping many lectures and classes due to family issues.
tons and tons of projects. :( schoolwork pilling soo highh i cant reach.
.
im EXHAUSTED.soo worn out. i duno hw am i gonna manage.
lots of sacrifices have to be done.
im nt gona give. ive to go through dis with him.
i need to be with him..
i need to be strong if i want him to be too. .
.
"ill be there tomorrow, just dun go without me. =( " .
.
he isnt going anywhere!! NO he is not. =_(

what we could have been, 9:30 AM.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

looking at him just lying there and not talking just hurts me soo much.
having to see all the tubes in him just make me wanna cry out loud.
to touch his cynotic cold finger just makes me soo frightened.

of wat the outcome would turn out to be. :(

i believe that everytink happens fur a reason.
God's decision is always mysterious.
but i noe.. dat they are always in our favour.

"daddy.. please wake up... "

what we could have been, 10:06 PM.

Sunday, July 5, 2009

yesterday.
.
i wasted half of my dae.
i lost sum1 i reli love.
i lost my GST money. FCUK!
i cried uncontrol-bly for 3 straight hours.
i hurt my finger for damn reason.
i sat there staring into space alone.
i was at my weakest stage of life.
i didint eat nor drink the whole day.
i reli hate myself.
.
yesterdae: was one of the worst day of my lyfe! :(
.
but its okie.
just goto pull myself together and everytinks
gona be just fine right?

what we could have been, 2:11 AM.

maybe tinks are just not meant to be.

i promise u ill be ur bestest fwen like u promised.

i am fine. and will always be fine. :)

insyallah.

what we could have been, 1:47 AM.