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Wednesday, September 23, 2009

i can never be with sumone hu's unable to put me on the priority list.
and suddenly i realise that i deserve sumtink better than what u are giving me.


what we could have been, 6:57 AM.
Saturday, September 19, 2009

i broke down to tears wen i hear TAKBIR after breaking fast at marina square yesterday alone.
it was supper embarrasing. i didint realise the people around me were acualy staring at me cos i was like in my own world. i only realise few minutes after TAKBIR was over wen one kind soul acually offered a packet of tissue and asked if i was ok. geez!
.
i headed to the toilet and to my horror! my eyes was super swollen and red and my eyes was like sum emo punk girl cos my eyeliner was all smudge! OMGOMGOMG!!
i mcm pompan tak tentu arah larr!!
.
supersuperembarassing okie...
.
and again everytime i hear TAKBIR.
i broke down to tears.. :_(
.
SELAMAT HARI RAYA DADDY.
imisssyoualot

what we could have been, 3:39 PM.
Friday, September 18, 2009

dissapointed with the baju kurung dat i tempah from shidah cos it literally didint turn out the wae i wanted it to be. :( and now i got no baju kurung! hmph. (bodoh nyer nyonya!)
watever la. im nt anticipating hari raya anyway.
i just hate how everytink is turning out to be. pfft.

what we could have been, 11:04 AM.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009

I know running away from problems wont do any good.
but i need to run away. i need to go away..
i just need to be alone. away from them. him.

daddy,i noe u will never agree to this.
im very sorry if im making a harsh decisions.
i promise you, just a few months ok. :(
to get myself back together again.

im VERI VERI sorry. :_(

what we could have been, 10:36 AM.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009

MY HERO.MY INSPIRATION__.

No words could describe how much Ive been missing my daddy. Sumtymes i cant help but breakdown on bus rides, during prayers, during school or especially wen im breaking my fast. Even now im on the verge of breaking down blogging bout daddy.

Daddy has always been my hero. I remember how he use to save me from my sis and mom wenever they bullied me when i was younger. My daddy was my pillar of strength. I remember how he always encourage and motivate me to never give up in life no matter how hard it gets. How he would motivate me to continue my studies everytime i told him i felt like quiting school. :( How he constantly reminds me there are more unfortunate people and learn to appreciate even the little tinks and people in life.

He, who always put others before him. He, who always try to help others in need even though his drowning too. He, who never fails to cook for me my favourite dish everytime i crave for them no matter how tired or sick he was. He was selfless. His patience and endurance has always been my inspiration.

He was just an amazing dad. :_(

The above picture was probably the 1st and the last tyme we acually celebrate hari raya as a family. :_( (as far as i could remember) Every year i hoped and prayed for my family get back together and celebrate hari raya as a family cos I noe dad has always wanted that to happen. But each year was always a disappointment.

Its the 3rd week of Ramadhan. :( I love the month of Ramadhan and i wish everyday is Ramadhan month. I dun mind fasting my whole life. Because i noe that during Ramadhan, daddy is here at home. watching over me. and us. Sumtymes at nite i could smell him. I sense him sitting beside me watching me sleep cos he noes hw much im afraid of the dark.

I remember how he would always wait for me to go to sleep to off the light in my room cos he noes how much im afraid to fall asleep in the dark. :_( daddy have sacrificed alot for me in terms of emotional financial and physical needs. :_(

:_( i miss daddy so much.

Hari Raya would be so meaningless without daddy. I dun want to celebrate Hari Raya without daddy. I want to hold his hand and seek forgiveness and hug daddy on the first day of Raya. I want to wear the same baju kurung as daddy. I want to give daddy duit raya. I want to take pictures with daddy again. Ramadhan please slow down will you.. pleasssee... :_(

I noe this sounds crazy.. but i always wish daddy would come back to life...

:_(:_(:_(:_(:_(:_(:_(:_(:_(


what we could have been, 10:39 PM.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009

FRIENDSOFLURVE_.


im so glad and thankful to have the opurtunity to have them in my life.
they are the ones who lite up part of my life wen thinks get down and dark.
i reckon they are probably my siblings that GOD forget to give. :)
who brings the best out of me.who tot me bout them and thinks in life by the minutes.
i love my girls to death! I love you guys more and marshmellow. more than cheese. more then caremel. more then shaker fries. more then milkshake. more then rainbows. haha
there arent enuf ways to express my love 4 dem :)

you guys are just awesome people.
thank u for the never ending gift like hugs kisses time and love.
Thanks for being my fwens. :)

im missing them badly already.
cant wait to meet up with them again..
cos they are my doses of happy-pills and i desperately need them badly..

p/s: of cos there more to just dem. :) and yes im a sentimental fool.

-PERIOD-

what we could have been, 9:38 PM.

kenape cindy anis slalu sad sad?

cindy anis tanak sad sad lagi..
cindy anis tak suka sad sad..
cindy anis nak happy happy ajer..

pleaseee... :(

what we could have been, 10:29 AM.

CindyRella
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