Thursday, May 31, 2007

cindy: uncle. smile la. why sad sad?

apek: =p

an hour later..

cindy: uncle.. smile la.. why sad sad?

apek: SIAO! i tink ur nt fit to work as a nurse. u work at kara-o-k pub beta. suits you. u wan i recomend u?

cindy: siao! ... i dun wana change pampers for u oredi.

apek: dun wana change. dun wan la. i change maself.

.... den he never tok to me la for few mins..

apek: :) (give me one cheeky smile)

cindy: wat smile smile?

apek: ( show me pamper) ... change..

cindy: change urself la!

apek: dun like dat la..

haha.. KNN.

ok2.. todae liah cum and visit me at ma ward la k. shock la..
her bro acciddent bike. just as i tot of visiting him.. he cum at visit me at ma ward. haha.
neck fracture stil can walk walk. haha. he ask me to cum by his ward after work. so wen i reach his bed. he covered himself with blanket. i open the blanket only. only got pillow la k! haha. i so piseh.. hmmph! he so gona get it frm me tomrrow!

what we could have been, 9:26 PM.

im so drained out. bcos of the tite scdule of career and other commitments.

my enerygy level is soo low i cld feeel it in me. but i just cld not xpress hw tired ma body ish feeling. all i need is REST and SLEEP and oso damn one good massage which i got frm him. ohthankgod he massage ma whole body. for fwee. tee hee. thank you baby :)

i tink ryte.. im suffering frm insomia isit?

its like so irritating lah!..

ma body is like so shag. and i feel so sleepy. but i jus cant seem to put maself to sleep.

and i dunoe why.. hmm

esp if i wrk afternn shift and mornin the next dae.

and i go to wrk the next dae with ma eyes all reddredd. argh.

im oh-so-irritated!!

i realy shld get ma body a pleasant good rest.

i dun wana collapse!! tee hee.

.good nite.

(im oh-so -alert.. yamns..)

Labels: i pray to god for ma well being..

what we could have been, 7:05 AM.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

.Exhausted.PROud.mISSy.

SUMPAH im reli sick of nursing
i duno why lehz..
sumtymes i like it alot.
but everytyme b4 and after each dae of wrk.

i feel like im dragging maself to wrk.

keep asking maself why? why am i doin dis..
i mean like i feel like im still young.

not only i want to continue school.. but i need to!

feel so argh..

especialy on daes wen u come acros sickenings relatives or even patients who so gets on ur nerves. if oni i can give dem a tite slap. maeb dat wld stop dem' comanding around and shut their bloddy hell mouth. kanina. GERAM aje aku. hee.

sumtymes the dae wld get so hectic we dun even have time to empty our bladder or take a sip of water to quench our thirst. its so mentally and physically torturing me lah..
this job really test ma patients men.

but hell.no.
dosent mean im like this.
i totally hate dis job.

i mean nursing is a stable job and plp look up upon this career wat.

and i admit. of cos SOMETYMES im proud to be in this line..

hais.. (i told u im a confuse lady.. tee hee)
we can get to meet different tymes of plp.
sumtymes they make my dae too :)

like i have one pt.. his son is one of the fantastic4 members can. heeh.
he make me hapy looking at his cute face. hee (gatal nye kau) ..
we took picas with him can.. :)

tkmo jealous kay..

hana gino cindy aini. all excited. heeh..

gino so cute. haha. after i aske him if we cld take pics wif him. he gave me this huge smile and said sure. why not. den he literally wen to the toilet to comb his hair neat. heeh..
these are little stuff makes us smile at least. =p

and also..

all philipinos and myanmars xcept fur me and hana. haah..

the only 3 singaporeans. heeh..

and us. all ready to go home after one hectic afternoon shift.

see those smiles of ours.. they're nt fakes kay. sincerity. =p

tata.

what we could have been, 7:56 AM.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

.__ouh.wee~

i had an awesome time todae with just him can.. =p
entah ape angin dia.. all of todae was on him kay.

we went to fish and co. for our lunch.

while waiting fur the food.

give him ferero roche can?

yummY-licious!

thumps-up for the seafood platter and fish n chips..

i din manage to take picas of the food la.. i was too engross wen the food arrives. tee hee.
and and.. especially the deserts. omg!

i furgawd wat its called. its brownie with ice-cream and fudge all over.

sinful godnes awe-some-NESS kay.. =p

and i get this for ma souvenier. heeh.

acualy i ask for it la. i saw dem giving out to kids there. and so i ask if i can have it..

hehe. i still a kid wart.. canot meh.. cute kan. can put ma mp3. heehee..

then we head tooo...

causewae point..he wanted to buy his RENOMA undies.

but tak jadi.. cos he not enuf $$.

pOOr TINK..

why? because Instead he wanted to buy for me a bolster dat i oways wanted. but didint buy la. kecian kan la skit eh. cos i cant sleep w/o sumtink to hug. i NEED a bolster k. tee hee.

den.den. we went to.....

uncleRINGO funfair.. wee~

the the.. ''challenger'' cost 10bucks/person. so ex la..

i so the action brave. da start je.. terpekik terlolong.

i shouted ma lungs out la..

so scary men.

i cld hardly walk after the ride. mabok.

and i literally have a headache all the wae till i reach hm. GAWD!

but so wat.. i LOVE it can oredi. =p

and the merepeks.. we tried the haunted hse.. so boring.

he acualy wana continue wih the ''vortex''..

but nah.. i dun wan to. cos its just so waste of money.

we sat and waited few mins for other plp. so lambat. so i ask bie to run to my bag and take ma hp to take sum picas. tee hee..

hmm..
maybe wait for my pay la.. den we go there again can?!

YAY!

den went to just chill around.
thank you for the great dae bie. =p

what we could have been, 7:20 AM.

Monday, May 21, 2007

( see ma hair.so boring kan..)

Shall i cut ma hair or keep it long.

i so the rimas can?..
everytime like dat lehz..

wen i got short hair i wan it long.
nw dat ma hair is a bit long. i want it short.

argh..
and and.

shall i dye ma hair again?..
blonde? hee..

or shall i highlite it blonde..

heeh.

what we could have been, 11:05 PM.

todae as we were walking down to his bike.

he held ma hand.

i noe this sounds wired but it felt amazing.

it seems like its been a long tyme we haven hold hands and walked.

but reli.. it felt different. =p

we went to ikea and eat ma fav ice-cream

and uncle ringo funfair kat woodlands.to just survey la..

so xpensive kay..

best2 nye rides smua 10 bucks la..

haiya. then he saes.

''tomorrow wana cum here. i blanja.''..

wah.. tak perna2 nk blanja. hmm..

bsok gaji pe! hmph..

i so broke la k.. =(

he ask me to choose.

''u wan the nike bag (dat i reli wan since last tyme) or uncle ringo?''..

i was like.. erm.. erm..

entah.

what we could have been, 10:52 PM.

if yall have been a constant reader of ma blog.

yall must have known dat im a confuse gal.

ryte?

ya..i noe i am.

niwae....

yes we fought again.

bcos told him watever i felt bout him and hw i felt.

and so. yes. he gets agitated as per normal.

bcos he saes he dosent know wat i meant by my wae of..

''showin me love''..

.wtf....

after quarelin as per normal.

dat nite was unusual.

he koled me @ 3am.

and sae..

''you are kind beautiful smart and is oways there for me.

i just wan you to know dat i love you''.

i was like huh?...

what we could have been, 10:36 PM.

Saturday, May 19, 2007

dunLOOKbhind.

okay.
despite the highly-not-recomended movie plp were saying.
i still went on to watch ''jgn pandang blakang'' at jurong theater.
free wat. heeh.. =p

the movie was acualy nt dat bad after all.
but im never gona watch horror movie nimore.

i noe i veri the lemah semangat and action brave.
skit-skit je terperanjat.

jurong theater.if yall haven been there. its smalll.
so.wen i enter. only bout 6 rows were filled and we were literally in front of thoes 6ros.
means we're like the front-est. heeh.

the sound effect was so ter-perajat-kan!
but i think its only to me.
bcos i realised dat all the while. for the 1.5hrs..
its only me maself and i yg shok sendiri terpekik sane. terpekik sini.
and i think i spend 60% shouting. 20%watching the movie by peeping. and another 20% self-ing consious. heeh. i was tired la k..! i din njoied. i feel like i made a fool of maself. haha

as much as i wana kip ma damn mouth shut by stuffing it with tissue.
argh. i still shout.

i was so the malu can!!..
the exit was infront..
so wen the show ended..

everytime each and eveyone pass us.. they sure to glance at my direction and giggle or laugh at me. haah.

and guess wat.. even kids were laughing at me la can.
i went in the toilet. about 3 10yr old kid with her mom giggle to demself lookin at me..

i jus smiled at dem la..
hur.hur.

paiceh dae for me.
i dun wana b lemah semangat kan?

hmm..
paiceh kan.. hmm

what we could have been, 7:24 AM.

Thursday, May 17, 2007

arggh!!!!!!

iduno why i feel so angry yet so sad.. !!

i duno hu to turn to.talk to.cry to.

Labels: miserable me..

what we could have been, 9:01 AM.

i tink i love ma fwen more..

haah.
can sumbody ever xplain to me wat are bfs for?

FCUK.

damn.shit.

i noe.i noe. im such a useless gal hu is oways so foolish wen it cums to love.
im oways in denial.

i oways hoped dat one dae u'll changed and het married to me..
but on the other hand.

i noe. one dae. we'll jus be seperated.
duno y we're still holding on. maeb jus wait for the ryte time huh.

and if dat one dae cums.
dat one dae. im gona sae fcukoff to love. to guys.

i'll never want to fall in love again.
if so..i'll never wana be atached.i wld rather go around dating guys which wont last bcos dats the best part.

yes. bcos im so sick and tired of getting hurt. being laugh at. being look down at.
and most off.. being un-apreciated!

i hate to cry. cry for guys. hu dun deserve ma tears.
i feel so useless.
cibai.

what we could have been, 8:49 AM.

i hate ma bf.
im not proud to sae dis.

yes.
im ashamed.

what we could have been, 8:48 AM.

Saturday, May 12, 2007

confused.__

dats wat im feeling at dis point of tyme.
todae. i went to CALIFORNIA FITNESS to consider if i shld join membership tingy just to support ma fwen hu just got employed there.

and soo.. as we were walking around. her boss come and approach me wanting to talk to be personally. i was like wondering wat the hell he wans. and so i rejected him. Aha.
but ma fwen convinced me saying he isnt so scary as he looks. haha. hes very funky. so i agreed.

and there he started off saying dat i have the looks and stuff like dat and ask if i wan to consider geting employed there as a fitness consultant.

i was flabergasted.

he showed me documents. bla bla.
and there is alot alot alot of benefits dat i simply love!!

dis job is w/o a contract.
for the 1st 3mths of wrking. your basic is ---> s$2k okay!!
and the next three moths is ---> 1k
and all this is xcluding the comissions!!
6daes/week.
10hrs job.

nursing is.. 9hrs job and its more tiring!!! much more.. =(

and we use all the facilities all for free instead of pying 300+ just for membership.
and we have the benefits of goin to any classes just for FREE!!
HOW GOODY00-great is dat??!!
but i have to give up on ma soccer bcos have no tyme for training..

ma fwen's college hu is oni 17 yrs old!!
nt schooling wrking there..
1st mth. he earn 3k okay!!! =(
and the wrk so relax can!!
just tok and tok and show plp around the gym la!!
and the atmosphere is healthy and surround by hippies youngsters..

i was like thinking.. i dun really like dis nursing job.
its so physically and mentally tiring.
it drains me out.
and i just bring back $1k.
how pathetic???!!

but the tink is he can give me 4daes to reply him wether i wan dis or nt.

i reallllyyyy want disss!!!
but wat if i regret...???
wat if nursing is acualy wae wae wae beta den dis..?

arghh..
help me pls .. :(
so confusee..

if u were me? which wld u choose?

what we could have been, 8:34 AM.

Thursday, May 10, 2007

where did you go..

i miss you so..

seems like its been forever..

what we could have been, 3:36 AM.

.gOssIP.paRTneRS.

after tiring dae at work. meet up with the twins.

.i love them.

why?..bcos they cheer me up wen im down and dey are good advisors..=p

and wen we're bored or our boifies are nt there. we can count on each other to be there and simply make each other laugh or smiles. =p

ma ward is getting busy-er and busy-er each dae.

oh men. i jus cant stand it.

im gona apply poly and higher nitec. whichever takes me i go.

bcos i noe schools are so much better den working lyfe!!

and as soon as get school im gona quit dis job.

im so in love with SUBWAE nw.

yummie-licious.

what we could have been, 3:18 AM.

Friday, May 4, 2007

.FewPicasImanageTOtAKE.

mai YAMA cindy

the coupons i was tokin about..

thanks for carrying me despite knowing i was heavy =p

GAY hu took care of me in green

and AMRI in white hu constantly teman me to toilet to shit =p
look at ma face wen im at ma worst. gosh..

FLATS......

these are the only picas i manage to take. pathetic.

what we could have been, 7:27 AM.

Thursday, May 3, 2007

LOSTit.WASTEit__
theFOOLISH-estTink i'veverdone.

ladies nite with mai and yama and mard?.. hu is constantly missing..
we started off with MOS by putting our bAGs 1st followed by CLINIC.

and ouh-yeah. CLINIC was awesome-ness. wee~
we have how many coupons? ermm.. let me count.
15of dem which me and yama only use. mai count herself out.
and i noe i was wrong. damn wrong starting out with all dis coupons tink.
the state of confuse led me on the wrong track.

there was once wen clinic's dance floor and empty.
so we heck care and dance BALLERINA all over the dance floor knocking plp everywhere. ermm. maeb nt dem. only me. hmm

ouh yeah. i tink its ballerina. b=hu cares. but we definitely njoi it!

after pure fun-nesss. we head to MOS. theres where all the minahs and mats2 can mosly be seen and oso thats wen tinks jus go BAD! waee... BAD!
and dats where we met AMRI and GAY. maeb dats GOD send frm above cos without dem i wldnt noe hw ma 2 fellowship handle me.

anger. depressed. insanity. down.
runs through ma vain with ferocious blood.
ma thoughts.it brings me to end of all hope.

i daze into ma peers eyes. i cld see the dissapointment in dem.i was so down.REALdown.

he came down at mere 20mins.

i tried to open ma eyes dat were glued tied and manage to peep through a small entry and saw him at a state of shocked.

he came and carried me in his arms.

and put me on a woden deck to lie on.

he stared into ma eyes asking me why am i doin dis.

and suddenly.slowly. his eyes was filled with tears.

i was so dissaponted in maself. and i noe he is too.

dats where i slowly sober down.and woke up to reality.

i never wana do dis again.

i noe ive caused alot of trouble.

im sorie mai and yama for snatchin the fun yall have been xpecting.

gay and amri. thanks alot for taking care of me.