Friday, December 25, 2009
Love never dies a natural death.
It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source.
It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals.
It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishing.
.
You hurt me more than I deserve, how can you be so cruel?
I love you more than you deserve, why am I such a fool?"
.
Loving you was my favorite mistake.
.
.
Its time to move on...
It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source.
It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals.
It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishing.
.
You hurt me more than I deserve, how can you be so cruel?
I love you more than you deserve, why am I such a fool?"
.
Loving you was my favorite mistake.
.
.
Its time to move on...
what we could have been, 10:11 AM.
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Im back from London people. :)
it was an overwhelming trip :)
anyhoos, retail therapy today was mind blowing!
Walked the whole town with embryonic amount of money yet still wanna shop.
as usual i ACCIDENTALLY UNCONSCIOUSLY OVERSPENT.
whats new. sigh
i was soo engrossed with shopping that i lose track of time.
i literally thought it was only 2000 and so i ask them for chill-pill session.
only to realize it was almost 2300.
and and still not done.
i stillwant need that black berskha skinny jeans badly.
it was soo HOT that it run out of sizes. :(:(
sale wasss awesomely mad. except for the crowd.
tsk tsk.
Town was packed like sardines.
Never in my life i have to queue for Old Chang Kee and the apek ice-cream along town.
But today.. the queue was super loongg like as if they were on sale too.
Geeez!
have yet any meals fur today.
i'm famished and i hate to queue!
so i headed back home and cook myself maggiemee :):)
after which, i felt really guilty and so, ipromise try my very best to stop spending!
and shall priorities on losing weight now.
Diddy thinks i'm fat! argghh.
pls i just need to lose 5kg and i'll be content. :) puh-lease.
need to work those fats off cindy anis!!
attachment's in 2days time. biggest sigghhhh!
and ive yet to alter my uniform.
shall do it tomorrow..
*yawns*
it was an overwhelming trip :)
anyhoos, retail therapy today was mind blowing!
Walked the whole town with embryonic amount of money yet still wanna shop.
as usual i ACCIDENTALLY UNCONSCIOUSLY OVERSPENT.
whats new. sigh
i was soo engrossed with shopping that i lose track of time.
i literally thought it was only 2000 and so i ask them for chill-pill session.
only to realize it was almost 2300.
and and still not done.
i still
it was soo HOT that it run out of sizes. :(:(
sale wasss awesomely mad. except for the crowd.
tsk tsk.
Town was packed like sardines.
Never in my life i have to queue for Old Chang Kee and the apek ice-cream along town.
But today.. the queue was super loongg like as if they were on sale too.
Geeez!
have yet any meals fur today.
i'm famished and i hate to queue!
so i headed back home and cook myself maggiemee :):)
after which, i felt really guilty and so, i
and shall priorities on losing weight now.
Diddy thinks i'm fat! argghh.
pls i just need to lose 5kg and i'll be content. :) puh-lease.
need to work those fats off cindy anis!!
attachment's in 2days time. biggest sigghhhh!
and ive yet to alter my uniform.
shall do it tomorrow..
*yawns*
P/S: I am not blind to your love for me, and I dare say that I love you with my whole heart, but I'm just afraid to lose a friendship like ours...
what we could have been, 8:50 AM.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
why do i always feel dis way everytime im ____. sigh.
im so glad im goin away tomorrow.
at least i could stay away from them for a week. -_-
i feel so lonely and down everytime im ____.
at least theres prince to accompany me sleep thru the pain and heartache.
hais
im so glad im goin away tomorrow.
at least i could stay away from them for a week. -_-
i feel so lonely and down everytime im ____.
at least theres prince to accompany me sleep thru the pain and heartache.
hais
what we could have been, 1:32 PM.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Dear god,please make my mummy a stronger person.
it breaks my heart to see her sad thinking bout daddy.
i know how she feels.
if i as a daughter is already hard enough to let go of daddy
and face up to reality the fact that his gone. what more the love from a wife who has been with him for almost 24years?
if i cant stop thinking and cry every single day i think bout him.
what more bout mummy?
"why" she asked. "god have to take him away cepat gini"
more often den not, i went speechless cos that's what i always ask my friends too. :_(
all i could answer was "Allah loves him more.."
more often den not, i went speechless cos that's what i always ask my friends too. :_(
all i could answer was "Allah loves him more.."
Dear god,
if u could not make me a stronger person.
could you at least help my mummy be a stronger person. :_(
hais
what we could have been, 10:41 PM.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
2hours of sleep. At 5am, I literally cooked myself 2 packets of maggie goreng *yumyum* just for breakfast. yes, just for breakfast!
perangai gemok i know.. i was damn famished larr...
i realized i haven had a proper meal for almost 3 days. i was so engrossed with my studies that i really forget to eat. all i remember was having watermelon and my all time favorite 'hello panda' biscuits.
my lips and skin are super dry and dehydrated prolly due to lack of water.
All i remember drinking dis week was gallons of kopipeng and redbulls just to keep me awake. GEEZ!
and i also realize these enormous fugly eyebags
growing humongous-ly each day.
i look like an obese grotesque panda :(
and and i haven had time to go fur threading. ERGHH!
on the other hand, im glad it was paid off.
i manage to vomit all the answers during exam.
3papers down. just 1 more to gooo..
EUNDUREEE..!!
ok gonna have half an hour power nap and off to study at the same place, same table and the same seat. -_-
only special people know where to find me during exam period :)
and im very happy bcos yesterday so many people surprise me a visit one after another.
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzz...
perangai gemok i know.. i was damn famished larr...
i realized i haven had a proper meal for almost 3 days. i was so engrossed with my studies that i really forget to eat. all i remember was having watermelon and my all time favorite 'hello panda' biscuits.
my lips and skin are super dry and dehydrated prolly due to lack of water.
All i remember drinking dis week was gallons of kopipeng and redbulls just to keep me awake. GEEZ!
and i also realize these enormous fugly eyebags
growing humongous-ly each day.
i look like an obese grotesque panda :(
and and i haven had time to go fur threading. ERGHH!
on the other hand, im glad it was paid off.
i manage to vomit all the answers during exam.
3papers down. just 1 more to gooo..
EUNDUREEE..!!
ok gonna have half an hour power nap and off to study at the same place, same table and the same seat. -_-
only special people know where to find me during exam period :)
and im very happy bcos yesterday so many people surprise me a visit one after another.
after tomorrow.
- i promise to catch up on my beauty sleep and fitness!
- i promise to go treading and shave my armpit hair. :P
- i promise to upload overdue pictures on facebook.
- i promise to lose weight and go shooppping! hehe
- i promise to clean my room and do my laundry.
- i promise to pay all the bills and buy the toiletries.
- i promise to catch up with fwens dat ive been neglecting.
- and most importantly.ii promise to let go and be happy. :)
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzz...
what we could have been, 3:19 PM.
Wasted many year of blind alleys cos there's no one leading me.
Going through one path that just leads to despair and utter hopelessness.
and yes, i'm blinded. cos i'm still going through that dark alley knowing the consequences and complication it'll lead to.
yes i'm very stubborn cos knowing all this,
i kept praying and hoping ill one day, find the light that i've always been searching for in that darkness.
but now all i feel is pain of regret and disappointment.
on the other hand, only through this experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened. ryte?
more often than not, its the smaller thinks in life that hurts the more than the bigger ones.
i feel like screaming my lungs out. i feel like crying like a child wants milk.
i don't want to pretend to be happy and pretend everything's okay wen its actually not.
all i can do now is just pray to get thru this.
sobsob.
Going through one path that just leads to despair and utter hopelessness.
and yes, i'm blinded. cos i'm still going through that dark alley knowing the consequences and complication it'll lead to.
yes i'm very stubborn cos knowing all this,
i kept praying and hoping ill one day, find the light that i've always been searching for in that darkness.
but now all i feel is pain of regret and disappointment.
on the other hand, only through this experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened. ryte?
more often than not, its the smaller thinks in life that hurts the more than the bigger ones.
i feel like screaming my lungs out. i feel like crying like a child wants milk.
i don't want to pretend to be happy and pretend everything's okay wen its actually not.
all i can do now is just pray to get thru this.
sobsob.
what we could have been, 9:34 AM.
