pictures of you ♥

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

im just glad dat im healthy.

i use to tink dat health may cum 2nd or 3rd.

but cum to tink of it. .

hais.. i tank GOD dat im healthy.

i wrk in an oncology (cancer ) ward. though sumtymes i hate going to wrk.

sumhw or rather dis wrk. helps to learn to be paient and be courageous.

wat i like being a nurse. is.. we make a diffrent in patients life one way or another.

wat wld u sae to patient hu only have a few mths to live.

i encounter that olmos everydae.

sumtymes it reli hurts me to see my patients jus sit in bed jus waiting to die.

one moment they can be toking to you.

another moment.. dey gone.

snap! jus like dat.

how does it feels like to noe dat u only have 3mths to live.

and u just to simply have to put on brave smile =(

everytime sum1 die. my heart drops.

reli.

i feel so sad. i duno wat to do or to sae.

jus stand there and look sympathetically. :(

hais...

smile. smile wen u can.

spread those smile.

cos u nv noe dat those smile wld change sum1s dae..

what we could have been, 5:39 AM.

.visitotheDENTIST.

do u noe dat ive oways feared dentist!?

myGOD.

but i told myself.
by hook or by crook. ive got to do it by todae.

after mths of sleepless nite due to the pain.

ive got a huge hole on my teeth..

and it hurts.. :(

so...after almost 5mths.
ive finally found the courage..

b4 i was called it. went to the toilet to see if my teeth look good nt. hehe.

and give it a gd rinse. cos i jus ate chocolate. tee hee.

wen he told i had to be given injection.

i totally FREAKOUT okay!!!!

i was like.. "huh..doc, no injections can?"
the check here check there.

the whole prcedure.i had tachycardia. haha.

and and.. i olmost teared. bcos it hurts!!

kk. but the doc saes its not over. the hole reached to my nerve canal.

he only put a temporary dressing and it cost 70buck okay!!

moreover. its not the end la..

he needs to refer me to the hospital and do a procedure which cost 600+.
i was like. WTF?!

the other option? .. xtract my tooth!!!

of cos its a NO-NO! i have to save my tooth..

what we could have been, 4:45 AM.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

====---------CooL_CHiLlz---------==== says:
i'm sorry, i dun give up easily
====---------CooL_CHiLlz---------==== says:
if i really like that person i'll commit myself
====---------CooL_CHiLlz---------==== says:
if u think i dun like you den y do i do things for you
====---------CooL_CHiLlz---------==== says:
has it ever come across to you that the things i do for you dat no other guys would do
====---------CooL_CHiLlz---------==== says:
i'm always sincere and honest to you
====---------CooL_CHiLlz---------==== says:
i would never ever make use of you
====---------CooL_CHiLlz---------==== says:
i dun treat gerls as though they are objects that can be discarded if they are not wanted

how? how do i noe if he is true..?
i agree. wat he have done fur me is notink compared to other guy.
i doubt no other guys have done dis fur me.
but yes im pushin ghim awae. and awae. and awae.
why isit so? i duno.. :(

hu is true. and hu is not?..

what we could have been, 10:58 AM.

What if i die tonite..

if you let your mind control you den you are letting your emotions down

what we could have been, 10:28 AM.

Girls just wana have fun.

my sis goin redang next week.

and im sooo jealous la!

i wana go for a trip too. i wana chill and jus have fun.

i wana go KL. or tioman island. or or redang island.

i miss sun-bathin.

i jus love to jus sit under the sun with shades on and jus relax fashionably.

i wana catch both sunrise and sunset.

i wana snokel and ride on speed boats.

i wana ride on long journey bus or trains so i cld do sun reflections on my lyfe.

on wat i wana fur me myself and i.

i jus wana be awae and have a bladdy god damn fun pls. :(

cos im so stress out wif tinks. lots of tinks dat i dun tink i nid to mention to public.

i saw dis picas at my friends fwenster. and i so wana go and have fun jus like dem can?

i wana go can?
but hu wld wana go with me?..

what we could have been, 8:51 AM.

Monday, August 20, 2007

here we go. on nite shift again.

sianz.

todae i learn that life is not all about just being happy.

in the process there is sure to have the down side.

in each and everyone of us. there is sure to be a loser in sum wae or another.

we cnt avoid dem. all we cld do is to jus pray and hope we'll get thru it..

ok. how? how do i xplain to dem dat i haven acualy reli 100% moved on.

i noe. i noe he wants to cum in and be near.

but i find myself building up dis wall btwin us.
and sumhw. i just cld not understand why.

why can they moved on smoothly..but not me?

why cant i just open up to love again.

look. i noe. i noe i have been harsh.

but its not dat i wan to. i jus have to.

i noe u noe that.

i dun wan to be taken advantage of again and again.

so i tot by being mean and harsh.. maeb dey wnt take advantage of me?

i noe. i noe its wrong. i hate dis. i hate my atitude towards dem.

but how.. how do i be nice again to the innocence?

but how do i noe if dey're reli inocent

or dey're just putting up a mask jus to get me.

it jus seemed like i no longer capable of giving.

and i seem beyond being able to love and be love again.

hais.

life is all bout risk.

i noe im a coward. i dare nt take risk again.

i tell myself nt to be afraid but it seem i cnt.

it just gets tougher to get me thru the dae..

ive risk into all dis too many times and it ended up nt wat i wanted. :(

so how again? how do i noe dat dey're serious and or just foolin' around?

wat if i skip dis and ended up regrettin? damn.

i cnt xplain this feelin but i tink about it everydae.

look... wat uve done to me.

what we could have been, 10:18 AM.

Sunday, August 19, 2007

GINAchabo. i finish do urs.
so.. do mine k. haha. so merepek.

all of u cn do oso kay.
hehe
http://kevan.org/johari?name=cindy_rella

kk.
smlm kan kite pergi watch firewrk with dada. den meet nan members dia.
den hilang. den terserempak nan yama and boify. so watch with dem. and ia sungguh cantek sekali. i duno y. but firewrk simply makes me look up with ma mouth wide open. and sae. "waa.." hehe. and smile. :)
( picture nanti la. USB ilang. haha )

super crowded la kay!

todae pesta sukan 7's.
duno y i mush play for u17 players. with nisa.
stress k maen nan drg.. esp being the captainos.
frus sekalil. and im hapi at the same tyme. bab.. i score 2 goals k. hahaha
one is strait after kick off. and the other is the penalty. ouh wee~

senyum2 selalu. :)

what we could have been, 4:27 AM.

Sunday, August 12, 2007

dis post is random.

todae my sista cum home feeling kinda of down.
we went out and bought ben&jerrey.
wen ur down or stress. these is one of the tink u turn to.
but i noe la dat food cant feel the emptyNESS inside us.

ohwell.

life is very short. i tink.
do wat u have to do. if tink dun wrk out den jus move on and kip trying.
dun give up.

do wat u njoi nw and live w/o regrets.
dun live in the past. u noe we cnt turn bck tyme..
apreciate life and tinks b4 its gone.

STOP ur steps there and LIVE a once.

my sis use to be so strict on me.
she controls me on my whereabouts..

i dun dare to open up. tok to her bout my personal life.
but slowly i grow up.. i tink she slowly understands me.
i cn tok to her bout boys and wat i feel or watsoever..
not totally. but partially.

nv in my life dat i told her i club.
she din rstrict but instead she advices me to jus lessen dem.
she told me to njoi my life and nv take life to hard.
jus dun do tinks dat u dun njoi... yeah.

it jus disturb me wen one is sad, reli.
i cnt see plp sad. bcos wenver i see one sad. i'll be too.
and i dun like to be sad.

i wana be happy... alwaes.
i wana look up to the future.

i jus feel dat blog help me open up we theres none dat i cld turn to..

what we could have been, 9:38 AM.

i havent had a proper rest for past few daes.
scedule have been hectic fur me.
have been wrking for more den 12hrs.
due to sum sacrifices dats just hard to sae NO.

work is so tiring.
soccer is so presurising.
life to so complicated.
im so unpredicable..

so exhauted..
my body feels so weak. but of cos im fighting.

what we could have been, 7:09 AM.

As we grow up. we learn that ever the one person dat wasnt

suppose to let us down probably will. you'll have your heart broken.

probably more then once, and its harder every time.

you'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt wen sum1 break urs.

you'll blame a new love for things an old one did.

you'll cry because time is passing too fast and eventually lose sum1 close to you.

so take many picture, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt
because every 60sec spend angry or upset is a minute of HAPY-NESS

you'll never get back..

one day i noe. i will..

be wat i use to be.

what we could have been, 6:44 AM.

Thursday, August 9, 2007

hapie 42th bdae. wee~

birthdae again isit? alamak.

hahaa..

acualy todae i wrking afternn shift leh.

wana noe sumtink or nt.

i took all the trouble just to change to mawning shift just to watch firewerks lehs.

acualy i got alot of plans todae dats y i took all the trouble to change shift.

i've oways love to watch firewrks. bcos its sooo beautiful can? duno y but it can make me smile.

hmm.

my soccer peeps ajak ngok firewrk kat marina bay.

significant other ajak ngok wayang.

significant other agak ngok firewrk jgak.

significant other fwen ajak gi jb.

significant other ajak chill..

among all.. i was looking forward to going the 1st one with my fwens.

bcos the other plan 2nd to 5th. each diff plan is a diff guy dat ask me out.

i duno y i just dun feel like goin out with dem. :(

sorie.

So all were oredy planed with soccer peeps. in the end.

only a few go. so.. i decided to head home la..

suddenly just got no mood to go out.

feel so restless and reli no mood to do anitink.

hais. :(

so stay at home and watch my ndp and firewrk.

i still get to watch my pathetic firewrks.

i still find dem beauti-fool. :)

damn boring lar.! :(

semangat merah putih! haha..

what we could have been, 5:11 AM.

Tuesday, August 7, 2007

imissOAC can?

sumtymes wen i tink bck.

ouh hw much fun i had. i had a blast!!

i wana go bck to those daes.

fwens.outins.laughs.loves.camps.trips.

im glad i joined oac. and ill never regret dem..

aww.. cn i have more? :(

what we could have been, 9:33 PM.

Saturday, August 4, 2007

alamak dis YAZID kacau only ah.

choose me to do this kind of quiz.

wate my tyme. haha.. =)

top5 bdae list u wish for.

-pink psp.

-spa? or a makeover? =)

-motobike or car lisence.

-trip to KL? bali? thailand?

-new boots

so yazid u noe wat to get fur me? hahaha.

answer following question.

person who tag u dis . yazid ( notin to do..) haha

rship wif him/her. err.. fwen? x-colugue? x-bf? hahaha

5impression of him/her. cutebutt.shy.horny.helpful.skinny. hehe. (tkmo mara ehk.u ask me to do diswan)

memorable thing done wifhim/her. err.. movie wif him? lepak-ing at the playground? hehe and wearing matching baju kurung. heeh.

if he/she bcum ur lover,u will. i will..... be curios. haha

if she/he bcum ur lover. tinks he shld improve. less horny. hehehe

if he bcum ur enemy?. it nt hapen ryte yazid?

if he bcum ur enemy,the reason will be. he rape my mother. hahaha

most desire tink do for him. erm.. maeb spend tyme wif him. catch up with each other?

overall impression? nice person. :)

hw u feel plp around u feel bout u?. weak? confuse gal? outgoing? hehe duno la..

character i love myself?. err.. anything goes. im a nurse?

contrary, character i hate mself? . weak. low self esteem.

most ideal person u wana be? myself. =0

for plp dat lke u. sae sumtink to dem. errmm..dun try to hard. =)

will dat do yazid?

hehe.

i wldnt wana pass dis to anyone. so i'll skip the rest. can?

hehe.

c u around buddy. =)

what we could have been, 5:02 AM.

GHooseBUMPS___.

1st-ly.bdae again. tee hee.

shout out to my dearest most special buddy.

sham-sisaloco.

hapie badae to euu. =)

its been 3yrs strait ive been celebrating ur bdae wif u huh.

i reli tot dat dis year its gona be a missed.

but hey, lucky me huh.

we met. =) hope u like wat i got for euu.

and ur fwens are sweet entertaining me. :)

every year was a nv missed bdae hug and kisses 4 u.

but dis year was kinda awkward and different.

you noe. i noe.

u shed tears dis year.i shed those tears too.

i didnt noe if i was tears of sadness or hapiness.

but hey.. i hope its nt a sad one huh. :)

cos u noe wat. being a fwen to euu is great enuf.

i cld nv ask fur more. soo.. smile okie buddy. :)

and i miss u plucking my armpit hair wif 10cen coins too.

haha.

( SENSORED )

yeah.. those daes huh. :)
ok2. move on.

i feel satisfied and hapie buying him a "gift".i noe. maybe i was wrong doing dat? many wasnt reli hapie bout dis.. hais.

i sorrie to whomever i dissapoint. :(

ok. remember last few post. i tok about dis stalker?!

yes. todae we i wana go werk. ta-dah! he was there waiting fur me under my block!!!!!

wtf does me want. only GOD noes.

i kinda ignored him la. but he followed me all the way to the bus and.. up the bus!!

waduhh..it was freaky men i tell u!

den den.. wen i was having ma break.
ma sis came in wif a boquet of flower with a card saying.

" give luvee a chance. that chance wld give u love in return im nv gona give up on u easily cindy. im nt like other guys.thinking bout u every nw and den.. "

walah. its frm him!

and this is the 3rd time sending me stuff to my ward.

okay. my my whole ward is toking bout it. hmm..

and never ending stuff and food and cakes outside ma hse kay..

(there more acualyy.. )

hw do i noe if he is reli serious or jus some desperados??

ok. he is a teacher ok. and again. fcuking rich.

he kenal ma sis bf. and he once told ma sis dat...

"dun be suprise dat on dae he mite just bring along his parent cum knocking on my door"

gawd. scary kan!!

ok2.. just go with the flow.. :(

atached susah. single pon susah.

haha.

so. jus nw. i was otw home.

i saw a big sign board. stating " free body weight checkup dat consist of ur body fat la.. water inside ur body la. bla bla.haha.

so its beeen a long Tyme since i wana do dis.

so.. i decided to give it a try la..

and ok. tkya nk ckp pon boleh k.

of cos im damn fcuking dissapointed la.

she sae im acualy sml build. and i cn lose weigh more jus to reach the level of ma age sumtink like dat. and yes. all the while i wana lose 10kg k. :( and she told me jus nw. if i wan my ideal weight for ma age is to lose fcuking 8kg. jus as i tot.

argh.

so my long term goal is to lose 10kg k.

short term goal. YES.. 5kg.

soo.. im on my way.. haha.

on a misson to lose weight.

gawd in so fatty- bom-bom!

haha.

what we could have been, 3:35 AM.

Thursday, August 2, 2007

so lost so confuse. pls guide me thru dis.

wat do i wan in life..
i duno..

i mite jus go the wrong wae..
as oways..

hais..

what we could have been, 5:04 AM.